Category: GafyTV
NASA Shot a Rocket at the Moon!
No kidding. When I was a kid I destroyed several battalions of G.I. Joe and Star Wars action figures with my pump action pellet gun. Little did I know that such random violence qualified me to work for NASA! I hope it’s not too late for me to get hired by NASA…I’ll blow up any damn thing they want me to…moons, planets, comets, black holes, E.T.’s…I’ll blow all that shit up for a piece of that crazy NASA money!
On a related note…apparently NASA is a fan of the superb 90′s sketch comedy show Mr. Show with Bob and David:
The Battle for Milkquarious
This is the most amazing viral ad video I’ve ever seen. I’m a little undecided on whether it is the best thing ever, or the worst, but it is certainly…something. Behold – The Battle for Milkquarious – an epic short film adventure made by they guys who sell milk. That’s right. It’s made by The California Milk Processor board. The same guys who brought us the whole “Got Milk?” campaign…so, yes, they are geniuses…but is this? I think so:
The Old Negro Space Program
I don’t remember reading about this in high school history…not even during Black History Month.
Funny Local TV Commercials
Often times there’s nothing more entertaining and humorous than a commercial produced by some small business in wherever it is you’re from. Some are great because they are meant to be great…and some are great because they suck so bad that they have somehow managed to warp the space time continuum, thereby turning shit into pure gold. Here are a few gems for you:
Flea Market Montgomery
Car Stereo Plus – Don’t Get Pimped!
Bobby Denning Furniture (and just about every thing else it appears)
Martin Furniture
The Red House Furniture
Martin Furniture…yes, the same one
Stinky’s Septic
E.T.Z. Video – this shit is bordering on insane…
Jim Carlsberg’s Visionary Optical + Palace – NOTE: THIS ONE IS FAKE BUT WORTH THROWING IN!
Wilkinson’s Family Restaurant
Now, this is a place you can take the kids to for a delightful night out:
The Best 80′s TV Show Theme Songs
That’s right. These are the absolute best 80′s TV show theme songs. Now, when I say “songs” I mean “songs” – not just musical themes. That’s for another post, because there’s a ton of those too. These are full on songs – with words and shit – that made TV shows from the 80′s at least somewhat tolerable.
G.I. Joe
I loved this damn cartoon when I was a kid. Watching it filled me with excitement and my closet with tons of kung-fu grip enabled action figures that I eventually shot up with BB guns or tied firecrackers to.
The Dukes of Hazzard
As if being primed as a kid to be a soldier by G.I. Joe wasn’t enough for mainstream media, I was also being primed to live life as a backwoods hick scofflaw! This was one of my all time favorite shows ever since the invention of the cathode ray tube…whatever that is.
3-2-1 Contact
How can you not love a theme song with such a funky ass opening guitar lick?
Perfect Strangers
Despite those godawful electronic drums this has to be one of the most uplifting theme songs ever! It totally makes me want to pack up, move to a foreign country and move in with a complete stranger!
The Greatest American Hero
It’s sad to think that this bumbling dope with the white guy afro was The Greatest American hero – beating out even Superman! But the 80′s were a crazy time!
Bosom Buddies
Nothing is more comedy gold than a man dressing up as a woman, so you can imagine how funny this show was…it had TWO men dressed up as women! The two real bonuses of this show are A) It stars a young Tom Hanks from back when he was funny, and B) It actually uses a Billy Joel song in the intro.
The Absolute Worst Music Videos
Let me apologize in advance for what I’m about to do. All I can say is that boredom, beer and YouTube are an extremely dangerous combination and there should probably be legislation enacted by Congress to make mixing the three a felony. However, since it is not a felony yet, I present to you the absolute worst music videos ever made by our dipshit species. Watching these it’s amazing to think that we are the most advanced clumps of tissue on the planet. Aliens the galaxy over must laugh themselves into a crippling fit anytime they hear the phrase “human intelligence” come wafting out of Earth’s radio waves. At any rate, here are the worst videos ever. I’m sorry:
“Losing You”
Lose me! Please! If I’m not lost soon I’m going to shove fire ants into my ears!
“Indian Thriller”
Apparently musicians in India enjoy shooting PCP directly into their left ventricles. I can’t imagine how else you could come up with this thing and think it’s a good idea.
“Nowiy God”
I’m not sure what country these guys are from but we should probably go ahead and drop several nuclear bombs on them just to make sure this shit doesn’t spread.
“Average Homeboy”
Holy crap! If this is considered “average” in the homeboy world then what the hell sort of brain dead douche bag do they consider less than average?!
“Don’t Burn the Bridge (Behind You)”
No…burn the bridge while you’re still on it! On a fashion tip: nothing compliments a tough looking full length black duster like a pair of really big tennis shoes with white laces.
“Treat Your Mother Right – by MR. T”
This video is truly a sack of festering manatee dung, but I like Mr. T too much criticize it. I am a fool who deserves some pitty, I suppose.
“We Are the Web”
Does the WE include ME? If so, excuse me while I drink a bottle of bleach.
In China they censor the Internet. They might be on to something.
“Hooked on a Feeling – by David Hasselhoff”
Is that feeling nausea? Because I’m a little hooked on that one right now. After watching this it’s amazing that KITT never “accidentally” backed over David Hasselhoff…repeatedly. Apparently Germans love David Hasselhoff. That’s probably just a side effect from the good ol’ U S of A whooppin’ their asses in WWII! Hell yeah!
“Beep Beep”
This is actually a television commercial. It’s supposed to make you buy cars. They should probably add in the fine print that once you buy your car you shouldn’t run this band down on the street later. There’s probably legal issues involved.
Okay, well that’s about all I can stomach. Tune in next time for some other collection of godawful crap my drunk ass finds on the Internet!
