How do i convince my mom into getting my tonsils out?
Kid…if you need to convince your mom that you need your tonsils out, maybe you should also convince a few reps down at Child Protective Services that you need your mom out.

Does anyone feel tired when they wear contacts?
I do…but only when I wear contacts AND drink a 5th of Nyquil.

How can I get over feeling guilty about someones death?
Step 1: Don’t kill someone.

Could I lose weight by eating less?
Eating less what? Industrial sized canisters of lard? Bacon wrapped pork knuckles? Just kidding! I seriously doubt what you eat has any bearing on your weight at all.

Smoking Causes what..?
Coolness. Smoking causes total coolness.

How to get a six pack?
If I wasn’t so drunk from so many six packs I could remember how…

Vagina Discharge FEMALES ONLY!?
I hope females only! I’d hate to meet the poor guy with vagina discharge.

Should I shave down there?
Down where? The basement? South America? I don’t think it matters where you shave.

Has anyone tried the “calorie shifting diet”?
Yes. You take calories and shift them away from your fat face.

Did I just break my toes?
If you typed this with your toes, I would guess…no.

Do I have the swine flu?
I’m no doctor, but…yes. I’m pretty sure you have swine flu. One good thing about swine flu is that it’s very easy to diagnose over the fucking internet you idiot.

How Much Weight Will You Loose By Eating Under 200 Calories a day?
All of it.

My daughter suffers from chronic constipation. Is this contributing to her yellowish and sallow skin color?
Yes. You should immediately put her on a strict anti-constipation diet consisting of cheese, red meat and Play-Doh.

Is it bad to never eat breakfast?
According to a very scientific study done by The Fruity Pebbles Institute, it is VERY bad to never eat breakfast. In fact, you should eat breakfast several times a day, and even set your alarm to get you up in the dead of night for a short breakfast before breakfast. Your breakfast should include Fruity Pebbles. The study also says that.

I have a bump on my anus?
That’s a turd. You forgot to wipe.

What are tampons and pads?
Tampons and Pads are a fantastic girl band from the mid-80’s.

On a related note…apparently NASA is a fan of the superb 90’s sketch comedy show Mr. Show with Bob and David:

CLICK HERE TO WHITNESS THE BATTLE FOR MILKQUARIOUS

You can see the odds at BoDog or OddsBet, and there’s a great article from yesterday at BettingChoice.com that states:

The punters at Betfair are pretty sure that the Obama-factor will be a major turning point for the IOC but the fact that Brazil will be hosting the World Cup in 2014 could be a mitigating factor. Surely though, Brazil’s problems with gang violence, crime and poverty will work against them because Chicago doesn’t have any…. Oh wait, yeah it does.

Currently, Chicago is listed at 1.75 while Rio De Janeiro is trading at around 3.15 to be awarded the games. These two look like virtually the only cities with a shot at it, as the next closest competitor is Madrid at 12.0. Tokyo is really the only other possible selection and they carry a price of 15.5. Prague is trading at 500.0 so they are virtually out of it and Doha and Baku are both listed at 1000.0. For a bit of perspective, Any Other City is listed at 360.0, which tells you something about the bids prepared by Doha and Baku.

What does this mean to YOU? It means…It’s time to get your 2016 Chicago Olympics Shirts before they SELL OUT!

We love the collection at GAFY.com because it contains traditional designs like:

But also fun, unique, and abstract designs like:

Other fan favorites are among the French Jeux Olympiques Tshirts and Spanish Juegos Olimpicos Camisas.

These designs are available in 18 styles for men and women, and in a rainbow of colors. Quantities are limited so get yours now and celebrate what is certain to be a Chicago victory. Don’t wait until they sell out!

Sweet Home Chicago 2016!

You knew we couldn’t just sit idly by while our very own Chicago duked it out on a global scale to win the bid for Olympics host in 2016! Hell no, we got off our asses and threw together a whole slew of awesome shirts! Help bring the Olympics home in 2016!

		***CLICK HERE TO SEE ALL 12 DESIGNS!***

Some of you may wonder why in the world would Chicago host the Olympic Games. While everyone knows it’s called “The Windy City” and that it has a history of corruption and crime, unless you’ve been there, you probably don’t know what Chicago has to offer.

Among impressive items in its resume, Chicago boasts the nation’s third largest population (8,500,000 in the greater Chicagoland area), one of the world’s busiest airports (O’Hare), Lincoln Park (at 1208 acres, it’s 365 acres larger than New York’s Central Park), and 4 of the nation’s 6 tallest buildings. Let’s not forget it has one of the most spectacular skylines in the world.

While it’s already quite a international attraction, look how Chicago plans to transform itself. It’s very impressive.

Ok, enough about that. Let’s talk about why you’re here: Chicago Olympics Shirts

GAFY is offering some very cool olympics tees for men and women. They are in English, such as this one which features Chicago’s tallest buildings:

Here is a Juegos Olimpicos camisa in Spanish

And here is a Jeux Olympiques Tshirt in French

To see all of GAFY’s 2016 Olympics Tees check out GAFY.com!

P.S. Congratulations Chicago!

Flea Market Montgomery

Car Stereo Plus – Don’t Get Pimped!

Bobby Denning Furniture (and just about every thing else it appears)

Martin Furniture

The Red House Furniture

Martin Furniture…yes, the same one

Stinky’s Septic

E.T.Z. Video – this shit is bordering on insane…

Jim Carlsberg’s Visionary Optical + Palace – NOTE: THIS ONE IS FAKE BUT WORTH THROWING IN!