Let me apologize in advance for what I’m about to do. All I can say is that boredom, beer and YouTube are an extremely dangerous combination and there should probably be legislation enacted by Congress to make mixing the three a felony. However, since it is not a felony yet, I present to you the absolute worst music videos ever made by our dipshit species. Watching these it’s amazing to think that we are the most advanced clumps of tissue on the planet. Aliens the galaxy over must laugh themselves into a crippling fit anytime they hear the phrase “human intelligence” come wafting out of Earth’s radio waves. At any rate, here are the worst videos ever. I’m sorry:

“Losing You”
Lose me! Please! If I’m not lost soon I’m going to shove fire ants into my ears!

“Indian Thriller”
Apparently musicians in India enjoy shooting PCP directly into their left ventricles. I can’t imagine how else you could come up with this thing and think it’s a good idea.

“Nowiy God”
I’m not sure what country these guys are from but we should probably go ahead and drop several nuclear bombs on them just to make sure this shit doesn’t spread.

“Average Homeboy”
Holy crap! If this is considered “average” in the homeboy world then what the hell sort of brain dead douche bag do they consider less than average?!

“Don’t Burn the Bridge (Behind You)”
No…burn the bridge while you’re still on it! On a fashion tip: nothing compliments a tough looking full length black duster like a pair of really big tennis shoes with white laces.

“Treat Your Mother Right – by MR. T”
This video is truly a sack of festering manatee dung, but I like Mr. T too much criticize it. I am a fool who deserves some pitty, I suppose.

“We Are the Web”
Does the WE include ME? If so, excuse me while I drink a bottle of bleach.
In China they censor the Internet. They might be on to something.

“Hooked on a Feeling – by David Hasselhoff”
Is that feeling nausea? Because I’m a little hooked on that one right now. After watching this it’s amazing that KITT never “accidentally” backed over David Hasselhoff…repeatedly. Apparently Germans love David Hasselhoff. That’s probably just a side effect from the good ol’ U S of A whooppin’ their asses in WWII! Hell yeah!

“Beep Beep”
This is actually a television commercial. It’s supposed to make you buy cars. They should probably add in the fine print that once you buy your car you shouldn’t run this band down on the street later. There’s probably legal issues involved.