A little boy was sitting on the porch with his grandfather who was smoking a cigar and drinking a beer.

The boy asks, "Grandpa, may I have a cigar?"

To which his grandfather replies, "Well son, can your peter reach your butthole?"

The boy thought about it a minute then answered, "Well...no...I don't think it can."

"Well then son, you can't have a cigar."

A few minutes later, the little boy looks back to his grandfather and says, "May I have some of that beer?"

The grandfather once again replies, "Can your peter reach your butthole?"

The boy answers in disappointment, "NO!"

"Well then son, sorry but you can't have any of my beer, either."

This made the boy quite upset, so his grandmother decided to make him a batch of cookies.

As the boy is sitting on the porch eating his freshly baked cookies his grandfather leans over and asks, "Son, can I have some of those delicious looking cookies?"

To which the boy replies, "Can YOUR peter reach your butthole?"

Grandpa answers proudly, "Why, yes...yes it can!"

The little boy says, "WELL THEN GO AND FUCK YOURSELF BECAUSE THESE ARE MINE!"